Conversations with your children can leave you speechless. Here are a few interactions that I deemed worthy of a share.


6 Yr. Old: Do we have sunblock?

Me: Yes Why?

6 Yr. Old: My friend is coming over after school.

Me: OK.

6 Yr. Old: He has asthma, so I’m just making sure we have sunblock.

Me: Yup, we’re all good.


9 Yr. Old: Gross, you farted.

6 Yr. Old: I didn’t fart.

Me: You are the only one here.

6 Yr. Old: It wasn’t a fart, it was my breath.


4 Yr. Old: I’m Spiderman, Batman, and a Ninja Turtle mixed together.

Me: Awesome, what are you called?

4 Yr. Old: Teenage Spiderbat Turtle Power.

Me: Wow, what is your super-power?

4 Yr. Old: WIFI


Me: Where are your pants?

6 Yr. Old: I had to take them off.

Me: Why?

6 Yr. Old: My underwear were crusty.

Me: What? Why?

6 Yr Old: No big deal, just a wet fart.

Me: ………………….


Listening to radio in-car (Blank Space by Taylor Swift)

4 Yr. Old: Mom, how does she make a bad guy good for the weekend?


4 Yr. Old: Does she put him in time out?

Me: Yes, that must be it. Hey look a squirrel.

4 Yr. Old: Wow, where?


6 Yr. Old: Mom, watch me run.

Me: OK.

6 Yr. Old: Look, see how my legs move.

Me: Your legs look fine.

6 Yr. Old: I think there is something wrong. Will you take me to a biologist?

Me: Sure, we can schedule that.


Me: Will you love me forever and stay my baby?

4 Yr. Old: Yes. I will stay here.

Me: What happens when you get married?

4 Yr. Old: I’m not getting a wife, I don’t want any kids?

Me: Why not.

4 Yr Old: Kids are a lot of work and I don’t want anyone to tell me what to do.

Me: Won’t you be lonely?

4 Yr Old: No, I’ll get a dog.

Me: Genius!


4 Yr. Old: Why is your tummy fat?

Me: I had three babies.

4 Yr. Old: A long time ago, why is it still fat?

Me: You use to be the favorite.


6 Yr. Old: Why are you wearing glasses?

Me: It’s hard for me to see.

6 Yr. Old: They’re ugly.

Me: That’s not nice.

6 Yr. Old: Well, it’s not a good look for you.

Me: I’ll make sure to ask your permission next time I buy glasses.

6 Yr. Old: You should, you obviously need help.


9 Yr. Old: This food is gross.

Me: It’s not gross its good for you, its organic.

9 Yr. Old: Organic is gross.

Me: You eat your boogers.

9 Yr. Old: So.

Me: Boogers are organic.

9 Yr. Old: Well, boogers taste good.


4 Yr. Old: Can I sleep in your bed?

Me: No, there is not enough room.

4 Yr. Old: Why can Daddy sleep with you?

Me: Because I married him.

4 Yr. Old: I will marry you. Can I sleep in your bed now?

Daddy: Don’t be so quick to offer that up buddy.

4 Yr. Old: I really want to get in your bed.

Daddy: So did I, and now I’m stuck. Think about it.

4 Yr. Old: I’ll just sleep on the floor.

You never know where the conversation will take you. It’s kind of like Mr. Toads wild ride, so buckle up and enjoy the ride.


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